Date With a Werewolf

Al met a girl cute as a button
He asked her out one day.
She said she'd better not
But as he begged she said OK.
Washed his car and shaved his face,
Bought some chocolates and flowers.
Ironed his pants and darned his socks,
Must have taken six showers.
Everything seemed perfect as he knocked upon her door,
Sun was setting,
Birds were chirping,
Couldn't ask for more.
He parked on Lover's Mountain
And he got out his guitar.
Strummed his sweet a song or two
They gazed up at the stars.
Then the moon it was quite full
Beamed down upon the gal.
Her hair grew thick, her teeth grew long.
She then began to howl.
You may not want to know the rest,
I'm sure you have a hunch,
But if you ask a werewolf out
Make sure it's just for lunch.

A Road Traveled Less

Uncle Bobby Frost sent me

Out for some milk and corn.

He said I'd come to a fork in the woods

And to take the path less worn.

So I set out on my errand,

And obeyed Uncle Bobby Frost.

I took the road less traveled,

And doggone it I think I'm lost!

Grocery Shopping

OK, let's see. . .
Got my list and a clean buggy.
Corn check, pork chops, yes,
Paper towels to clean up our mess,
Black beans, baked beans, pintos, limas,
Chicken, ham-hock, Aunt Jamima,
Noodles, sauce, both red and white,
Milk, 3 gallons, cookies, rice,
Bread and butter, jelly, beer,
Beets, Q-tips for my ears,
Lettuce, sprouts, cereal, chips,
Cheese, juice, avocados, dip,
Celery, bananas, apples, pears,
Soothing ointment for ingrown hairs,
Floss and toothpaste, shampoo, soap,
Watermelon, Pepto, and 2 cantaloupes,
Ice cream, pizza, cornbread, honey,
"HORSE FEATHERS!!! I forgot my money!"

Belly Itcher

We needed a pitcher

But not one was found

We had to get someone

To stand on the mound

We found a first baseman
And even a coach

We had a left-fielder

His nickname was Roach

We had all but one

One spot left to fill

We asked Hank and Lo-Lo

And Todd, Burt and Jill

All hope was then lost

On getting a pitcher

We gave up the search and. . .
Hired a belly itcher.

What It's All About!

That Tokey Milokey

He thinks he knows all

Sleeps each day in class

Wakes up to play ball

Doesn't care about Science
Or Reading or Math

If you ask him 'bout History

He'll sit there and laugh

He's not worried about Religion

Or politics or fruit

Don't ask him to shower

He won't give a hoot

He knows the MEANING OF LIFE

And he has NO DOUBT!

He does the Hokey Pokey
That's what it's all about.