A SasKwatches Feeld Guide 4 Sir-vivaL (BASIK SKiLLS NEEdED)

1. Don't lite a fire in the water. It wont werk.
2. Don't sit on pointy stix - they hurt.

4. Never pass gas in a small cave - it stinks.
5. Don't die - we're the missin' links.

5. When sleeping on a mountin, put yore head up-hill!
3. Don't sleep in the snow - yu'll catch a chill.

7. Honey bees don't taste like honey.
12. Don't walk into town whin it's sunny!

? Before eating a bird - take off its feathers.
? Before eating a man - take off his leather.

? Don't walk in the street whin a cars passin' by.
11? Don't sit on a fire cawse yore skwatch will fry.

Foller these rules and you'll be alrite!
Don't foller 'em and you'll probly die.

BIGFOOT CAUGHT ON CAMERA!

Went out last week for a hike in the woods,
Spent a couple of nights in a tent.
Counted deer and elk and squirrels,
And picked up a pole cat's scent.
Crossed some creeks and jumped some logs,
Climbed a tree or two;
Skipped some rocks and whittled sticks,
And stepped right in some poo.

But then it happened - I couldn't believe it!
A creature scooted by.
Walked upright with lengthy arms,
Hair from its head to its thighs!
The beast looked like I thought he would,
'Bout six foot nine and hunched,
Heavy bodied with dreads in his fur,
I could have been his lunch!

I followed his trail, those giant tracks.
His feet were awfully big.
I caught his scent, about passed out,
He smelled just like a pig.
And then it happened, my dreams came true,
OUT JUMPED THE YETI!
I let out a sigh and turned off my camera,
It was just my Uncle Eddie.