Colt 44's

Saw a kid 'bout 5 foot 6,

Not much bigger than a piggly stick.

White as cotton, freckled cheeks,

Parted hair and seemed quite meek.

Pants were pressed with coat and tie,

Argyle socks and innocent eyes.

When he spoke he smiled and giggled.

When he walked he actually wiggled.

But those he meets turn right around,

They sprint, they hide, dive to the ground.

He may be fragile to the core,

But he carries huge Colt 44's!

Santa's First Reindeer

Twas a long time ago
When Santa first started
His sleigh not quite built
His course not yet charted

He had a lone reindeer
Whose name was Lored
With one weighty antler
On the side of his head

All else was quite normal
That first Christmas Eve
Lored and ol' Santa
Preparing to leave

Santa hopped on Lored

Sat right on his back

That chubby old man

His heavy red sack

Then up in the air

They arose with the presents

Circling for hours

Like tail-spinning pheasants

Lored's weighty antler

Kept turning them round

He could not get straight
Ol' Santa just frowned

St. Nick got quite dizzy
Had lost all his cheer
And said home now Lored
We'll wait till next year

Lored was then banished
To the town of Breelunter
Where he became the trophy
Of a one-legged hunter