But a wife I couldn't live without.
One golden ring then I was wed;
One lovely wife lay in my bed.
If one be good, shan't two be grand?
A second wife then held my hand.
Why not more, don't you agree?
If two be good, then how 'bout three?
Our life was full, but I got bored,
So next came matrimony four.
I must confess I should have ceased.
My house no longer held the peace.
But then I saw a lovely maid
My other wives stood in her shade.
Stop? No sir, I've but one life.
I made that maiden my fifth wife.
Five golden rings, five wedded hands.
Five wives for this one Mormon man.
Oh Solomon, David, Jacob too,
Why didn't I listen to the three of you?
And take one wife and never more,
But no, I added another four.
Do they cook? No. Do they clean?
No, they just argue, shop, and scream.
My money's gone; I just can't cope.
What's on t.v.? That's right, soaps.
No steak. Just salads and hot tea.
They make me walk outside to pee.
They're on the phone, computer too.
Buying dresses and fancy shoes.
Pinterest, facebook, etsy, blogs,
Lace and flowers, pumps and clogs.
Oh, the horror, ouch the sting!
Why'd I buy five golden rings?!?
